Ripped Recipe: Millennium Oat Royale

This is more a concept than a recipe. I effing love oats. The only carb-heavy things I eat are 1) rice, 2) potatoes and 3) oats. I’m gonna do my damnedest to blow your mind with oats right now.

I only use the 1-minute kind. You can figure out how to make the oat recipes below on your own, or comment with questions if interested.


Oats with tomato sauce and sausage! YEAH!

Oats with garlic brown butter and raisins! YES!

Oats with grated Romano, rosemary and sliced grapes! BOOM!

Oats with tahini, sesame oil, smoked hot paprika and pureed eggplant! WHAAAAAT!!!!?

Curried oats with ground lamb, cherry tomatoes and dried apricots! DON’T FAINT!

Oats with coconut oil, orange zest, milk and mint! I CAN HEAR YOUR HEART POUNDING THROUGH THE INTERWEB!

Oats with sardines, zucchini, fish sauce, sriracha and basil! I SWEAR IT’S AWESOME!

Like mac and cheese?! Screw that. Oats and cheese! DAMN SKIPPY!


Oats with honey, wine and prunes! HOLY COW!

Oats with chocolate casein, coconut manna and frozen berries! AWESOME!

Oats with smashed ripe banana, cinnamon and peanut butter! BAM!

Oats with melted dark chocolate, kosher salt and cayenne pepper! OBVIOUSLY!

Vanilla ice cream over warm (thick) oats with nutmeg! SIMPLE!

The list goes on and on and on.

Ripped Recipe: Savory Garlic Romano Apricot Oatmeal Polenta With Ginger Dusted Watermelon and Maple Syrup

A truly unique twist on polenta.

A truly unique twist on polenta.

I enjoy polenta, but 1) I’m not into the cooking time, and 2) I don’t eat corn anymore. Sort of.

Anyway, I have a sneaking suspicion that most people believe oats are for breakfast (oatmeal), or dessert (cookies), or simply a flavorless filler/ moisture holder for meatloaf. Let’s smush that stereotype.

1/2 cup 1-min oats
1 cup unsalted chicken stock
1-2 Tbsp milk
3 Tbsp grated Locatelli Romano or other good hard Italian sharp cheese
1 small palmful of chopped dried apricots (preferably unsulphured organic)
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/8 tsp nutmeg
salt and fresh ground black pepper to taste
watermelon cut into 1″ cubes
ground ginger

Mix oats and chicken stock; microwave for a minute or so until the mixture becomes thick. This is half the liquid normally used to make oats.

Stir in Romano, apricots, garlic powder, nutmeg, salt and pepper. The mix should be very thick like corn polenta. If it’s too thick, just add a little milk.

Spread onto plate or tray and set aside or in fridge to cool. Once cool, it can be cut into squares, but they wont stay together like traditional polenta. You could alternatively just serve as a scoop on plate.

Plate by setting watermelon cubes next to polenta. Dust watermelon with granulated ginger. Drizzle a little pure maple syrup on oat polenta. Eat.