The majority of my diet is comprised of fresh food, but there are certain packaged foods I just have to have. This post’s title is misleading; there’s no packaged food that can make a person ripped or fat (in my opinion). There are, however, foods that address cravings and that are deeply satisfying. For me, that’s really important because it supports a healthy mind and makes staying ripped easy. Without further ado:

Red wine

Cliche, I know, but there’s nothing I enjoy drinking more than a Rioja or Petit Shiraz. I’m no wine snob, and am remotely far from being an expert, but I know when I like a wine and when I don’t.

100% dark chocolate

Yes, that’s 100%. I have some sort of animal attraction to jarringly bitter, earthy flavors. I usually have to go to the baking aisle of a higher-end grocery store to find the good stuff because the darkest bar I’ve ever found in the “normal” chocolate section is Guittard Nocturne, which is 91% and tastes like candy to me. I’ve found Dagoba 100% to be pretty good, but more on the acidic side. Scharffen Berger 99% (yeah, I’m not sure why they didn’t go the extra percent on that one) is also very nice with a little more cherry note to it, but less acidity than Dagoba. But my absolute favorite 100% bar that totally blows away everything else I’ve tried is SunSpire’s organic 100. I came upon it in the Whole Foods baking aisle (a place where I can’t do any real shopping because it’s just too stupidly expensive). It’s so perfectly balanced and smooth that I had to look back at the package the first time I tasted it because the qualities it possesses are so unusual in a 100% bar.

 

Lesser Evil ChiaPop Popcorn

I’m not suggesting that I find popcorn to be deeply satisfying, but it certainly has its moments for me. The best tasting and lowest calorie popcorn I’ve ever had is made by a company called Lesser Evil. They offer some fantastic flavors like coconut oil and Himalayan pink salt, movie theater butter, cracked black pepper and sea salt, and cheddar. I like to dump a few cups of this into my huge salad bowl after I’ve finished the salad and toss. It picks up some of the left over dressing, making it even more awesome.

 

Magnum ice cream bars

There’s something to be said for artisanal, small batch, hand-crafted ice cream. And there’s also something to be said for Magnum ice cream bars that are mass-produced by the international conglomerate Unilever. They are SO freaking excellently great. My favorite is the Infinity Chocolate, which is dark chocolate ice cream with dark chocolate swirls covered in dark chocolate and sprinkled with dark chocolate covered cocoa nibs. But the classic (vanilla inside, dark chocolate out) and mint (mint inside, dark chocolate out sprinkled with dark chocolate covered caramelized sugar crunchies) are damn good too.